What I lost to addiction:
I lost my mind . . . well, the ability to rationalize what my mind was telling me. I was being lied to by my own voice over and over. My mind still lies to me, but now I am able to decipher what inner voice is speaking.

At my worst, I was:
In a spot where ending my life was the best option and that’s what I unsuccessfully tried to do in August 2014.

What worked for me:
Accountability. I didn’t see progress until I started telling people closest to me the truth about how serious my drinking was. That’s how I managed to get one month of sobriety. How I have made it over 20 months is with the Recovery Elevator podcast (launched the first episode in Feb. 2015).

Stigma I faced:
I felt ashamed and defeated when I went to AA meetings. I wanted to run from tree to tree so I wouldn’t be spotted entering an alcoholics meeting. It seemed like I was the only one with a drinking problem and that is simply not the case. The stigma is dangerous, extremely dangerous.

Advice to my younger self:
Hey Paul, are you dizzy? You’ve been trying the same tactics to get sober without success for a long time and you’ve done a lot of circles. Paul, listen closely. This is a disease. If you want to see your 33rd birthday, throw your pride and “genius ideas” out the window and start working with other alcoholics who have gotten sober.

Favorite recovery quote:
“Must go through it to get to it.”

On my bucket list:
Travel the world speaking to schools, groups and others about alcohol. I want to use what nearly took my life as my rocket fuel to help others.

I get inspired by:
Hearing people’s stories. How they got sober and how they got back up after a relapse. People in recovery are the most courageous people you will ever meet.

In a hypothetical world, if I had to take over the Roman Empire hundreds of years ago, I would do it with an army of people in recovery. We simply don’t accept defeat and keep fighting!

Proudest moment:
When I received my first email from a listener about 2 weeks after I launched the podcast. It was evident the podcast was really helping people. Since then, I have received thousands of emails and messages from listeners. It never gets old and it helps me stay sober.

Thoughts on relapse:
Relapse was a huge part of my story. I have been sober for over 20 months and the thought of a relapse terrifies me, but if I do relapse then who cares. I would be accountable, tell the world via the podcast, not beat myself up, and start over again on day one.

This is a powerful disease, not a matter of will or weak character.

Follow Churchill’s free podcast at: http://www.recoveryelevator.com.

Shed the Stigma:
If you’re a person in long-term recovery who wants to share your insights, please contact us at [email protected].